Book Review: Anger, the Misunderstood Emotion

Book Review

Anger, The Misunderstood Emotion
by Ms. Carol Tavris
Simon and Schuster
New York
1982
pgs 302
Trade paperback


Summary

I enjoyed this book simply because it attempted to dissect the emotion of anger. It attempted to take the fear out of expressing anger and the fear of hearing it from someone. It developed many different categories of anger, like rage, irritation, fear etc.

By comparing different societies outside our own American culture and the subcultures within our society, the author illustrates the part anger plays in holding up that society’s values and accepted types of behavior. It puts anger into the whole repertoire of emotions we express like joy, love, pleasure, fear and more.

Anger is seen as an unacceptable emotion when it is discussed, it is not a desirable response. Yet, on the unspoken level of acceptance in our society, anger is expected in many situations. Men are expected to get angry in situations where their “manhood” is threatened.

I also appreciated Tavris’s breakdown of how we tend to rationalize injustices, to avoid anger we “denigrate the victim”, we “deny” the existence of situations that threaten our concepts and values. We “reinterpret” the injustice and its outcome. We “blame ourselves” for misfortunes. We accept a “religion” that offers us a just world.

The book has a lot of data to digest. It is a little wordy. It is not clear to me the method she choose to illustrate the illogic of many statements, i.e., she quotes Rubin “Are you solidly aware that the purpose of warm, healthy anger is to deliver an affective (emotional) message in order to clear the air and to make corrections and reparations if necessary?” She adds in parens (Yes, and I’m also aware that corrections can be made without anger.) To me this is an example of how Rubin may not have characterized the type or level of anger he meant to be expressed, i.e., I think to some people merely taking a serious tone of voice can indicate displeasure and therefore anger, it is not the anger of loud voices. So, Tavris responds as if that is the type of anger he is addressing.

(https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/anger-carol-tavris/1113909951)