Vignette: Mary's Story

Mary's Story

Late one Halloween evening as I got ready for bed, I got indigestion. I was unable to lie down, sit down, or standup with any comfort. I hurt. Nothing helped.

By morning, I called the doctor and made an appointment. I went by cab. Once there, I threw up. The doctor told me to go the hospital and asked how was I getting there. "Cab," I said but, at that moment, a neighbor stuck her head in the door and offered to drive me. She had followed me to the doctor’s.

After an agonizing ride and entrance interview that I moaned and stumbled through, I was taken up to a room. Surrounded by doctors, nurses, interns, and residents who kept asking questions, I rolled on the bed unable to lie down. Eventually, I faded out of consciousness, vaguely aware they were attempting to hookup an IV and were having trouble inserting the needle.

Time blurred.

I moaned and groaned my way in and out of a fever. I heard indecision above me about what was the true nature of my illness. I buried myself in blankets, levered myself up to a sitting position, and rocked between sleep and consciousness. I dreamt in purples and greens, and somewhere in the middle of it all, a woman in the next bed moaned and groaned, too.

Gradually, I became aware I had a roommate, Mary. She and I agreed to moan together. As I lay there drifting in and out, between the doctors and nurses who kept telling me I was seriously ill, Mary told me about her family, a living horror story, and I remember thinking this is too much.

Here's a woman next to me with her whole body out of whack and a family from hell. She had worked two jobs to support her fatherless family, buy a home and literally with every ounce of her soul, her energy, and her body, she supported countless people who gave her nothing in return. She had more stamina than I could ever dream of.

I fell asleep thinking I would die with her life's story in my ears. I thought it an irony as my consciousness faded. As I regained consciousness again, my inside voice said, "you can be positive or negative about this, you make the choice."

I woke up laughing.

I joked with the nurses and doctors, said please and thank you, and tried not to complain. Eventually an exploratory procedure found the blocked bile duct and it was cleaned out.

Nothing in my life helped me understand what was happening to Mary. I listened as she told me of generations that pulled away, each generation less supportive, less warm. Now there were grown children who had forgotten what it meant to be human.
I heard of beatings, theft, vandalism, drinking, unwanted children, abandoned pets, and fights. I heard of her attempts to hide food and money from her children because they took everything. I heard of her attempts to shield her aging father from her children's physical abuse, going so far as to put a lock on his door.

What advice could I offer her after all her years of doing? I had no children. Silly me, I tried to teach her meditation exercises to reduce stress. I remember lying there trying to describe, in an unpracticed voice, mountains, ocean beaches and forests, wishing for some comfort in her life.

When I visited the hospital chapel, I thought this Mary's story and that her survival was a miracle, her strength a wonder, so much without joyous fruition.

As medications began to make me feel better, Mary and I became "the pajama party" on the floor. Mary joked constantly. We laughed and teased the interns, technicians, nurses, and doctors. We had IV contests to see whose IV needle would stay in the longest. I lost.

All day and all night, she worked her phone managing her home and family from her bed, paying bills and instructing family members to care for her aging father left at home. By the end of the week, he, too, was admitted to a hospital.

Then, it came time for surgery. After I was prepped, moved onto a gurney and rolled out of the room, Mary came up to me and wished me luck.

The last face I saw before going into surgery was that of the Indian resident. He was beautiful. I could not have asked for a better last vision. I smiled and thanked God.

After surgery, it was pain big time and, of course, they wanted me to get up and walk immediately. I did and Mary and I called it the gall bladder slide as I shuffled my feet and pushed my IV along the floor.

I had not eaten in a week. When they brought my first meal, I could not even eat a pea. My mouth just would not accept it. Great way to diet, I thought. For the rest of my stay, I gave most of my food to Mary. She either saved it in plastic baggies she brought with her or feed her family when they came to visit.

When any of her children entered the room, darkness descended as they stood like large, grim, silent shadows against the wall. No words of affection or concern. No smiles. Pain from low self-esteem like beaten dogs emanated from them.

Once Mary sighed and said she wished her family had sent her flowers. When they came to take Mary for her procedure, I went to her side, squeezed her hand and wished her well.

As we both began to get better, we talked more. I was eager to return to my life. I do not think Mary was. She had been hospitalized many times for an odd digestive aliment I did not understand. Her throat, her stomach and most of her digestive organs were scarred and ulcerated. I think her hospital stays were a respite from her life.

The time we spent together in that room was intense. She was more comfort to me than I was to her but we had a good time. When I started roaming the hospital floors, I ventured downstairs to the gift shop and bought Mary flowers and a teddy bear. I got a nurse to help me surprise her. She was. I wanted give her something to take home.

Becoming a Tightwad

Becoming a Tightwad

Anyone who knows me, knows I love books. My interests range from mysteries to scientific non-fiction. I also like self-help books. Several self-help books have enhanced my life. One book saved my life, The Tightwad Gazette (TWG) by Amy Dacyczyn.

If you are not familiar with the Tightwad Gazette, let me briefly describe it. It is a book about money, how to save it, how to spend it wisely, how to understand the power of compound interest and the power of setting financial goals.

Sounds like more dry text about math, stocks, and mutual funds doesn’t it?

Well, does saving vacuum cleaner lint, storing cans of tomatoes under your bed, buying pounds of chicken on sale, or yardsaling with a map, thermos, and a packed lunch sound like dry complicated math?

These are just a few tactics from thousands of similar tips offered by the author, Amy Dacyczyn, and her readers, to save money.

Conversion to becoming a tightwad was a joy. The book made me laugh. But conversion to becoming a tightwad was not without its mishaps.

One fundamental of being a tightwad is cooking your own meals from basic ingredients and not buying ready-made foods, or eating out a lot. I am not a cook, So, I learned to cook, sorta.

When I got the TWG in the mid-1990s, I had one cookbook, a rice cookbook. I made a lot of rice dishes. Having only a microwave also limited my cooking repertoire. But, hey, I could do potatoes five different ways.

Plus, I made muffins. Of course, I had to experiment in order to get them right. It amazed me how recipes try to describe the correct consistency for dough mix. I made probably thirty muffins before I got it right.

Then I went and made over 100 muffins and ended up offering them to anyone who would take them. I finally stopped making muffins when my consumption dropped and the muffins turned green.

Two other TWG tactics I use are the once a month shopping routine and the price book. You enter the price of items from receipts, or from direct mail advertisements into a small notebook to carry with you to compare prices when you are out shopping to determine if you are getting a good price. What a wonder, I had no idea how many sales were not really sales.

Using the price book idea also added a sense of intrigue to the task of grocery shopping. In the States, when I was in a grocery store comparing the prices of various gallons of ice cream, I found myself blushing as if I were doing something illegal. When what I had discovered was I could get ice cream cheaper at a competitor’s store.

Though I already had ceiling fans, used cloth napkins, and bought used clothes, books and various household items, I still felt like a failure as a tightwad. I didn’t salvage items from alongside the road, or bargain with yard sale entrepreneurs for a reduced price. It felt like I paid full price compared to the deals Amy got, like tennis shoes from a freebie box, or a blouse for a quarter because it had a small tear.

I did learn to make pickles, apple crisp, and use leftovers in various ways.

Using the price book as a guide, I held the line at .99 for a pack of four rolls of toilet paper. You have no idea the joy in finding toilet paper on sale for less than .25 a roll.

I had to figure out what fruits and vegetables were in season in order to catch sales at their peak, it was like surfing a monetary wave.

I’ve got good at making milk from dry powder and I would go out of my way to buy juice concentrates on sale. I had enough shampoo to last a year, several boxes of raisins in the refrigerator, and tubs of butter in the freezer I got on sale over a year ago.

Amy also suggests saving 10% or more of your salary. While I was working, I did this. As my savings grew, I was able to put some of the cash into certificates of deposit, which at that time, paid higher interest rates.

Mexico Update

The above article was written in the late-1990s. Today, I still struggle to be a good tightwad. Yet, it is because of the TWG I was able to travel to Mexico to get good, affordable, accessible health care and survive on my emergency savings.

When I look at the various frugality posts on my blog, I see I could do better. For example, I could find a bank where I can get an ATM card and make withdrawals for no fee. Banking in Mexico is complicated.

When I started a new “frugal” hobby, making my own earrings, I hesitated to begin a new hobby because I had a bad habit of buying supplies for a new hobby and never investing time into the hobby.

But, I love earrings (aretes), so after spending $900MX (~70.00US), I have made more than 80 pairs of earrings, so far.

In the marketplace, street vendor or retail store, aretes (earrings) can run from 20pesos to hundreds of pesos.

What is also great about my hobby is if I need a gift for someone, I make a pair of aretes. Or, if I want aretes to go with an outfit, I just make a pair.

I think my aretes now cost about 12 pesos a pair. So, you could say my hobby has already paid for itself.
 
But, I could go more often to open food markets or flea markets to buy food, or household items, spices, clothes, and other items for less.

I could learn to “haggle”, to negotiate for a favorable price with a vendor. I have heard that “haggling” is common in Mexico.

I do research and attempt to understand the local economy. Because the minimum wage is low, I am not comfortable “haggling” for a lower price. Usually, if I do not like the price, I do not buy the item.

In the case of a taxi ride, I do know how much it should cost to go from A to B, so if the taxi does not have a meter, I ask the driver what the price would be to go to B. If the price is too high, I decline the taxi.

Living between countries puts pressure on my limited tightwad abilities. I still haven't figured out the an easy, frugal way to travel.

But, that is part of what it means to be a tightwad, to me. It's means you continue to experiment with, explore, and research ways to save money that will enhance your life. I can't paint, dance, write poetry, or other artistic endeavors, but I can creatively save money. Being a tightwad is a creative endeavor anyone can do.

Hotplate: Salmon and Cheese Chowder

I am enjoying making soups from various recipes.

The original recipe can be found in the Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacycyzn on page 570. I made adjustments in an attempt to make it #GERD-friendly and based on What You Have on Hand.

 Hotplate: Salmon and Cheese Chowder


Ingredients:

2 Cups water
1 1/2 Chicken bouillon cubes
1/4 Cup butter or margarine
2 Carrots, grated or 2 Cups shredded carrots
1 Tspn onion powder
1/2 Tspn Worchestershire sauce
Ground Black pepper to taste
1/4 - 3/4 Cup flour
1 2/3 Cups milk, deslactosada (Lactose-free)
1 140g (4.9 oz) Can of Salmon (or Tuna), drained
1 Cup Cheese, mozzarella or other, grated
Garnish: Parsley fresh or dry, crushed (Optional)

Process:

Add 2 cups water to a microwave container.
Add bouillon cubes.
Microwave on high for 3 minutes or more to dissolve cubes in water.
Remove and stir.
Set aside.

In a large pot, add butter.
Add carrots.
Stir.
Cook on medium, saute carrots.
Add onion powder.
Add Worcestershire Sauce.
Add Ground Black pepper.
Stir.
Saute for a few minutes.
Stir occasionally.
Add 1/4 cup flour slowly.
Stir as you add the flour, in an attempt to avoid lumps.
Add 1/2  Chicken stock.
Stir continuously to reduce lumps.
Stir for until flour has been mixed thoroughly.
If soup has not thickened, add a bit more flour.
Add remaining stock.
Stir.
Add milk.
Stir thoroughly.
Reduce to simmer.
Stir until the mixture bubbles.
Add salmon or tuna.
Stir.
Add cheese.
Stir and heat mixture until the cheese melts.
As you serve in a bowl, add garnish, if desired.

 

Microwave: Baked Apples with Jam, Oats and Cinnamon

Update 2/11/2020

I just made this recipe, again, because in the first recipe, I used wax paper, and overcooked the stuffed apples. I microwaved them on high for 10 minutes and they came out like hard candy. I don't think the wax paper was useful.

Today, I covered the stuffed apples with plastic wrap and microwaved them on high for 3 minutes and they came out perfect.

I, also, made some minor adjustments to the ingredients.

So, I altered the recipe to reflect these changes.

You can find several online cookbooks at The Guelph Family Health Study.

I appreciated their goals of involving children in cooking in the kitchen and making recipes to avoid food waste.

Often, when I buy even 1 or 2 apples, somehow they don't get eaten quickly. So, I have to devise ways to cook them to preserve them. Often, I can freeze what I have cooked.


Microwave: Baked Apples with Jam, Oats and Cinnamon
(Adapted from: Baked Apple with Crisp Topping https://guelphfamilyhealthstudy.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/GFHS-Fall-2016-Cookbook.pdf)


Ingredients:

4 small apples
4 Tspns of Jam
4 Rounded TBspns Oats
2 Level TBspns Flour
1.5 - 2 TBspns Sugar
4 Dashes of Cinnamon powder
1.5 - 2 TBspns Butter, softened
Plastic wrap to cover microwave dish


Process:

Wash apples.
Cut apples in half, horizontally.
Place apple halves in a microwave dish.
Scoop out cores.
Fill space with a Tspn of jam.

In a bowl, stir and mix flour, sugar, oats and cinnamon.
Add butter.
Stir and cream the butter into the mixture.
Add about 1 TBspn of mixture over top of apple halves.

Cover microwave dish with plastic wrap.
Microwave on high for 3-5 minutes for small apples. Microwave a few more minutes, if the apples are larger.

New picture of 2nd Batch of Baked Apples

 

One Cucumber, Many Uses

Update: minor adjustments to Quick Pickles measurements.


My biggest problem with fresh produce is I never use it all immediately and end up with waste. Generally, I dice or slice any remaining produce and freeze them.

But, cucumbers don’t freeze well. So, I have a few ways to prepare cucumbers for multiple uses without waste.


One Cucumber, Many Uses

With 1 large cucumber:

Wash and cut in half, in the middle.

With one half:

Peel.



Cut into slices (round).

1. Put slices into a jar of water to make cucumber water.

2. Dice remaining slices, place in a container.
Use with various sauces, see choices in Cucumber Bonanza post on this blog.


With the second half:

Cut into length-wise strips (julienne).
Cut away the seeds. 

3. Place strips into a jar with spices to make quick pickles. See DIY Quick Pickles below.

4. Dice any remaining strips, save in a container. Use in cucumber salsas or cucumber salad like Apple / Cucumber Salad with Yogurt. See below.

Apple / Cucumber Salad with yogurt
Add diced apple with some diced cucumber. Add yogurt and stir to coat diced apple and cucumber.



DIY Quick Pickles
(Thanks to: Quick Pickled Cucumbers | Easy Refrigerator Pickles Recipe)


Ingredients:

Cucumber
A jar with a lid
Water
Vinegar
1-3 TBspns of sugar
2-3 Tspns of rock salt or salt


Process:

Wash cucumber.
Cut cucumber in half vertically in the middle.
Cut each half into strips.
Cut away seeds.
Add cucumber strips to jar.
Add water to jar until about 1/2 half to 2/3rds full.
Add spices.
Add vinegar.
Affix lid.
Shake jar to mix spices and liquids.
Store in frig.

TWG Tip for Conserving Shampoo and Bath Gel

I get excited when I find a new idea for saving money.

As a fan of the Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn, I follow many of her money-saving tips.

One of Amy's tips to save money is to dilute your dish soap and shampoo. For years, I have done this.

I can make a 760ml bottle of shampoo last a year or more by constantly adding water to the bottle as I use it. I buy the least expensive scented mid-range shampoo. The shampoo brand scents range from $25.00 to $40.50MX, today.

I also buy several bottles at a time, if the prices is right, and store them for future use.

As a treat, I also bought bottle, 250ml, of Plum body gel on sale at the Body Shop for about $200MX.

The new idea is to put the shampoo and the Bath Gel into a spray bottles and add water. I like this idea because I think it allows you to be more precise in the amount of Shampoo or Gel you use.

 We shall see.

Hotplate: Simple Chicken Vegetable Soup

Hotplate: Simple Chicken Vegetable Soup
(Inspired by: https://natashaskitchen.com/easy-chicken-noodle-soup-recipe/)

I love soup. It is one of many comfort foods. This recipe is also frugal (Budget-friendly).

I appreciate Natasha's recipe. It inspired me to keep trying to make Chicken Soup. I had failed before so many times. While my recipe is a major departure from Natasha's, she pointed me in the right direction.

Now, I have an easy recipe, I can make with confidence.

I used leftover vegetables and vegetables I had on hand, so this recipe can have lots of variations.

I think potatoes add additional flavor and texture to the soup.


Ingredients:

1 Chicken bouillon cube
6 cups of water
1 dash of garlic powder (Optional)
1 dash of onion powder (Optional)
Ground Black Pepper (Optional)
Season to taste and GERD tolerance
Use vegetables on hand for example:
2 chayotes, 1 frozen, 1 fresh, sliced and diced
6 Leftover roasted potatoes, cubed
10 snack carrots, diced
*I added some leftover pastrami slices. (Optional)


Process:

Add 2 cups of water to a microwaveable container
Add 1 bouillon cube to the water.
Microwave on high for 2-3 minutes.
Remove and stir until bouillon cube has dissolved
Add stock to large pot.
Add 4 cups of water.
Add spices.
Stir.
Cover pot.
Cook on high.
Bring liquid to a boil.
Add vegetables.
Stir.
Recover pot.
Cook on medium for about 15 minutes.
Check vegetables, if they are soft, the soup is ready, if not, cook for 5-10 minutes more.

I serve soup with crackers.

I divide remaining soup into single servings in freezer containers and freeze for later use.

#GERD-Friendly, use none or a little of the spices